


Vaenia

by RaeDMagdon



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-16
Updated: 2012-03-16
Packaged: 2017-11-02 01:31:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/363518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeDMagdon/pseuds/RaeDMagdon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack tries to steal something that doesn't belong to her and gets an eyeful instead. Jack/Miranda, Liara/FemShep</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vaenia

**Author's Note:**

> Jack tries to steal something that doesn't belong to her and gets an eyeful instead. I guess this can go with Ilos Can Wait if you want it to, but it works as a stand-alone. Inspired by the amusing references to Vaenia in ME2. I laughed my ass off when it was brought up again in ME3.

"Fuck, it was awful!" Jack groaned, pacing in front of Miranda's desk and throwing up her hands in frustration.

The Cerberus operative's eyebrows furrowed as she watched Jack pace back and forth like a predatory cat, all sleek muscle and barely restrained rage. "Calm down, Zero," she said, hoping the disliked name would get Jack's attention, even if that meant some of the biotic's anger would be directed at her instead of... whatever else she was angry at this time. The number always made her feel more like a thing than a human being, and she disliked hearing it, especially from her lover-slash-enemy. "What was awful? The vid?"

"It all started because of that damn vid!" Jack snapped, clenching her fists and twitching uncomfortably beneath her skin. Muscles jumped and her pulse spiked. "Should have gotten Kasumi to do it. That bitch will steal anything just for the hell of it."

Instead of being intimidated by Jack's ranting and harsh, jerky movements, Miranda was intrigued. "Are you just going to continue ranting like a lunatic, then, or are you going to tell me what happened?" Miranda asked, more amused than impatient at this point. Jack was terrible at keeping secrets, except for the one where she was screwing a member of Cerberus, and even with that secret, part of her still wanted to tell everyone just to convince herself (and them) that she really didn't give a fuck about anything.

"So, I use my biotics to fry the security panel on Shepard's door..."

"Not very subtle, are you?" Miranda drawled.

"More subtle than blowing a hole through the fucking door, right?"

"Oh well. I suppose Shepard wouldn't be likely to notice her copy of Vaenia was gone if she's busy trying to figure out why someone overloaded the security panel on her private cabin. I still say you should have just asked her. She wouldn't have cared..."

"If it's that easy, why didn't you ask her to borrow the vid, Princess?" Jack leered at her, putting both hands on the front of the desk and leaning forward with a toothy grimace. "Anyway, I fry the panel, pry the door open –" Miranda tuned out for the briefest of moments to imagine the ripple of muscle in Jack's arms as she used her biotics and extraordinary strength to pull open the solid, latched metal door. "- it was awful! They were..."

Miranda blinked. "Sorry," she mumbled briefly. "What was awful?"

"The Commander! She was fucking that blue asari of hers, and they were all glow-y and shit! It freaked me the fuck out!"

Unsure what else to do, Miranda's first reaction was to burst out laughing. "You're upset because you caught Shepard joining with Dr. T'soni? I thought you'd be in to that. Exotic tastes and all..." She knew Jack preferred 'unique' partners, especially those with biotics, (she had confided that she "liked the tingle", although Miranda suspected it was far more than a tingle most of the time, considering the amount of energy she used during her own 'stress relief' sessions with Jack).

"I thought they were going to levitate into the air or something! Biotics were flying everywhere..." Jack actually hadn't minded that part. "And I heard..." She wasn't sure if she had heard voices in her head, like soft whispers, or if she had just imagined it, but they had hinted at intimacies that she was far from comfortable with. "I don't know what the fuck I heard."

They hadn't used their physical voices much, but enough to make Jack distinctly uncomfortable. "It was all 'I love you' this and 'embrace eternity' that. Disgusting." Even as she pretended to be horrified by what Miranda was imagining as a romantic, passionate embrace, the Cerberus operative saw a certain softness behind Jack's affected display of anger and scorn. Deep down, the human was probably touched by what she had witnessed, but didn't want to admit it.

"Did you at least get the vid?" Miranda asked, changing the subject to give her lover a moment to compose herself. "It would be a shame if you had to witness all that romance for nothing."

"No! I got the fuck out of there," Jack said, a little too quickly.

"Yeah, right. After five minutes." Miranda correctly assumed that Jack had stood, dumbstruck, in the doorway to watch the fireworks. "Is that why you're so uptight, baby?"

Jack scowled at the use of the endearment and shoved Miranda's hands away from her arms as the Cerberus operative stood and reached out for her across the desk. "Don't call me baby," she growled through her teeth.

"I guess I was right," Miranda purred, approaching the stiff form of her lover from behind and wrapping her arms around Jack's waist. The convict allowed her touch, but barely, remaining tense in the circle of her lover's arms. "You are worked up. I suppose I should be jealous, but..." she let her hand skim along the bare flesh of Jack's heavily tattooed abdomen, making her shiver and inhale sharply. "The imagery is pretty hot. Who was on top?"

"Who do you think?" Jack asked, trying to sound like she didn't care, but her voice was tight with unreleased tension.

"Five to one it was Shepard."

"Wrong. The asari was riding her cowgirl style. Well, at first..." They had shifted positions fluidly, but the sight of Liara rocking on Shepard's hand as her own worked between the Spectre's legs had offered Jack the best view of the asari's glowing black eyes. That had really freaked her out and turned something that would otherwise be incredibly sexy into something scary.

"Can I say that I'm really glad you're not an asari? Don't want anyone messing around in my head. It's mine, you know?"

Miranda grinned. She knew that she was already in Jack's head more than the criminal wanted to admit, but if the other woman wanted to keep denying it, she didn't care. She would just settle for awesome, angry hate-sex until Jack came around. Miranda had known going in to this that it would take time. Starting a physical relationship with Jack hadn't been too difficult. Hate worked well as sexual fuel, after all. Gaining her trust and a piece of her heart would be a more lengthy process.

"Is that a touch of speciesism?" she teased, reaching up to tweak one of Jack's nipples beneath the leather straps that crossed over them. "You don't find asari attractive? Almost every species in the galaxy does."

"The blue skin was pretty," Jack conceded. "But the glowy eyes made me think she was possessed. Scary shit, Miranda. Scary shhhh – mmmm..." her voice became a hiss, then a groan as Miranda tugged firmly at the tip of her breast.

"Maybe we shouldn't watch Vaenia, then. One of the actresses is asari..." Jack was too distracted to answer as Miranda's hand crept beneath the waistband of her pants and squeezed. "We'd have better luck making our own. I'm sure EDI's got cameras somewhere..." she teased, just to see Jack's reaction.

_"XO Miranda Lawson – would you like to initiate recording sequence?"_ an artificial voice said from one of EDI's many ports.

"Fuck, no!" and "Absolutely not!" both of them blurted out at the same time. The last thing they needed was for Joker or somebody to find that evidence. Imagination would have to suffice.

_"Very well. Tell me if you change your mind. Others on this ship have used my camera features."_

The mood ruined for a brief moment, Jack and Miranda shared an incredulous look. "That's more than enough info, EDI," Miranda said hastily. "In fact, shut off access to all live cameras in this room."

_"Voice recognition – Miranda Lawson. Security Override initiated."_

Both women let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Cheerleader. I definitely don't want us becoming the next Vaenia," Jack mumbled, although the derogatory term had become something of a fond endearment to Miranda over the past several weeks. The Cerberus operative looked at Jack's face, her gaze flicking down briefly to her lover's nipples, and then grinned.

"Still wound up, huh?" she asked, removing the unwanted space between them and working to undo Jack's pants.

"Shit, yeah... Don't tell anyone, 'kay?"

"That you caught Shepard and her bondmate in an intimate moment?" And thought it was sexy? "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Good. I like a bitch that knows when to keep her mouth shut..." As she kicked off her pants, she reached to pull down the zipper at the back of Miranda's neck. "I also like sexy Officers that let me fuck them from behind on their desks..." She gave Miranda's ass a not so gentle slap as she helped the other woman shimmy out of her incredibly tight bodysuit. "Bend over, Cerberus."

Now naked, Miranda hastily complied. "I bet you've been wanting to say that for a whil – oh, Jack!"

. . .

"Oh, Shepard, it feels so good just to lie next you," Liara sighed happily, trying to snuggle closer to the human lying half-beside and half-beneath her. The asari was curled up contentedly against Shepard's chest, and she was extremely comfortable and warm all over.

"The feeling is definitely mutual," Shepard said, stroking her lover's neckfolds and causing the doctor to shiver at the pleasant sensations. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too, but let's enjoy the time we have before you need to leave Ilium again. I promise this separation won't be forever."

Content with that promise, Shepard let herself drift back into the lazy, comfortable, loving haze that Liara had put her in... until she felt a draft against her bare skin. "Hm. Are you cold, love? Or just ready for round four?" she asked as she felt Liara tremble against her.

"Cold," Liara said, "although I'm not opposed to a... continuation in a few minutes, and perhaps a shower..." her thoughts trailed off as she lifted her head and turned to look for the source of the draft. "Shepard?" she asked, very slowly and deliberately, "why is the door to your cabin open?"

The Spectre shot straight up in bed and pulled the covers over both of them. "Uh..." she tried to remember, but couldn't for the life of her understand. Then again, when she was melding with Liara, the rest of the world seemed to disappear. "Best case scenario? The door is malfunctioning."

"And the worst case scenario?" Liara asked as she glanced around the room, looking for her dress.

Shepard didn't even want to think about the worst-case scenario. "EDI, can you try and get that door to shut? It's freezing in here..." If someone had walked in on them, she would deal with the rest of the problem later. Hopefully, whoever it was would be too polite or too embarrassed to mention it.

_"Affirmative, Commander. Initiating repair sequences."_

"I really hope we don't become the next big thing on the extranet," Liara murmured fretfully.

Shepard wrapped a protective, comforting arm around her lover's shoulder. "Don't worry. Even though it would fuel Joker's fantasy life for years, I'm sure we won't become the next Vaenia. By the way, do you think we should get around to actually watching the vid? I know he got it for us as a gag gift, but since we own it..."

Liara gave Shepard a hesitant smile. "Well, it is supposed to be a depiction of human/asari sexual relationships. Perhaps we should view it... for study."

"Study works for me," Shepard said, a grin spreading across her face. "Never let it be said that Dr. T'soni let any avenue of learning go unexplored."

_"Commander, a side note: Jack and XO Miranda Lawson may wish to borrow the vid titled 'Vaenia' after you have viewed it."_

Shepard and Liara shared a surprise look. "EDI, what have I told you about spying on people?" the human chided, even though she knew the AI would probably not feel any remorse.

_"I do not spy. I observe all activity on the ship to maintain optimum functionality on all system levels."_

Liara sighed. She and Shepard had long gotten over the fact that EDI never actually turned any of the cameras off, even when they asked her to. She simply stopped broadcasting the signal or made the content inaccessible. The asari imagined that the AI had quite a collection of "interesting" imagery that she didn't care about at all, but some of the crewmembers (and most of the extranet) might pay a fortune to see.

"I have a feeling that Jack, Miranda, and I are going to have an awkward conversation soon," Shepard said regretfully.

"I think you're right, love. Now, are you going to start that vid, or do you expect me to get up from my very comfortable spot?" Liara said with her sweetest smile. Shepard rolled her eyes and reached over the side of the bed for her omnitool, which was resting on top of her clothes.

"This damn vid better be worth it, the way everyone keeps talking about it..."

Fortunately, it was.


End file.
